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Change of address [Oct. 16th, 2014|07:36 pm]
Forward all of my mail to Cas Warner.
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The Indomitable Turkey Spirit [Mar. 5th, 2007|10:03 pm]
[music |Won't Back Down]

OPEN ON: Our setting for this little incident, an intersection in a random suburban neighborhood. Two roads run parallel to each other, separated by two 'islands' with a traffic light hanging over a gap.

Pan to reveal our hero, THE TURKEY, standing between these islands, a little to the right. Cars whizz on by on both sides. The light is red - in fact, a rather long red - but time is running out. The turkey, seemingly unaware of the danger, stands there, looking back and forth, casually walking around and bobbing its head.

CUT TO: A car, waiting for the light to change. Both the driver and a passenger in the backseat look concerned for the turkey, but are powerless to do anything.

BACK TO THE TURKEY. The light is about ready to change - and just then, a synapse fires somewhere in the turkey's brain. With an unprecedented burst of speed, it sprints over to the island, standing next to a light pole, safe from all but the most maniacal of drivers. It continues to look around, showing some level of awareness that it cannot stay here. Safety lies on the block on the other side. But the cars continue to drive on by; one false move could mean the end for our hero.

THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN. The car we saw earlier goes forward, but its occupants' eyes are still on the bird as it makes its fateful walk across the road, taking advantage of a break in the traffic. It's not using any of that speed we saw before. In the far distance, a car approaches...

POV SHOT: THE BACK OF THE CAR, as it pulls away toward its own destination. The turkey keeps walking as it slowly vanishes into the distance - and with just enough time to let the audience see, makes it to the opposite sidewalk. And there was much rejoicing.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
To get to the other side.
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Caswin vs. Buena Vista [Nov. 27th, 2006|07:21 pm]
EDITED: Okay, so the upshot is: Releasing "Fantastic Four" on DVD using cut-down episodes was a lazy, cheap way to go about things. The layout of the DVDs themselves attests to this, though the dance music on the menus has grown on me. (Stan Lee is still cool for agreeing to produce new ones for the DVD set itself.) Buena Vista presumably remains difficult to find contact information for, but the fact that they made a point of responding for the sole purpose of confirming that they were reading my letter -- which has only gotten more distinctive and laudable the more I think about it -- indicates that they do appreciate feedback and being contacted... they're just bad at it.

Carry on. Writing a respectfully-toned letter never cost anyone anything.
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Let there be FAD!! [Aug. 4th, 2006|11:22 pm]
[Current Location |Ground zero]
[music |Fan blowing]

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

...turns out phonebooks don't have many sentences.
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A quiz [Jun. 25th, 2006|08:44 pm]
[Current Location |Still Ground Zero]
[mood |Disappointed]
[music |"Magic Bus", playing in my head for some reason]

Found it over in child-dragon's account...

Your brain: 100% interpersonal, 140% visual, 100% verbal, and 60% mathematical!
Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:

  1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
  2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
  3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 99% on interpersonal

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You scored higher than 99% on visual

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You scored higher than 99% on verbal

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You scored higher than 99% on mathematical
Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

...you know? This one really looked like it'd be accurate. 60% math? Not so much. Er, more. See? Bam. Math-y. Then again, what do I really expect from a quiz ending with the rule "Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%."?
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